For many years domestic violence was treated as a nuisance by the police, often because the woman did not want to prosecute, all too often out of fear of reprisal. As a result of this calls to attend at such assaults were known as "domestics".
Such a description minimises the physical assault and the assualt on the personhood of the woman who is being abused. It rated domestic abuse at about the same level as a parking offence. Except that with a parking offence the perpetrator is automatically fined.
Neighbours often regard domestic abuse as a nuisance. Probably because such abuse often takes place late at night, particularly if the man has been drinking. All they want is some peace.
The way that society at all levels, treats domestic abuse and those who experience it contribute to an abused woman's isolation. All that matters is that she is not a nuisance and that she doesn't scream too much. She shouldn't make a fuss, she's a non-person experiencing another domestic.
Just another Domestic
Not another knuckle, punching its way into my head
Intruding on my consciousness.
Another bang on the wall,
"Keep it quiet, people need their sleep."
People need themselves,
But others take it away with a right or left hook.
A bunched up fist
Stamping out identity in another domestic.
Domestic violence has been the subject of much debate in recent years. Although it is not classified as a criminal act in Britain the onus is still on the woman to prosecute.
Women often stay with abusive men for a long time and because of this they are viewed as weak, without any backbone. GPs have often been known to prescribe anti-depressants or tranquilisers to women experiencing violence as if being the victim of abuse is part of a person's pathology.
I have discovered, both through my own experiences, and the experiences of women that I have interviewed that women who have been abused are often strong women, they are survivors.
The problems do not end when a woman leaves an abusive relationship. Many women have children and on leaving they become part of that most unpopular group, single parents. They often have very little money and may need to learn new skills to support themselves and their children.
Women I have spoken to may go back into education, I have met numbers of them at university. These women go from strength to strength in rebuilding their lives. Some go on to work with others who have been abused. Still others will write about the subject, many write out of their own experiences, as I do.
Women survivors are often treated with suspicion. The question of "what did they do to deserve it" is often at the back of people's minds. No woman deserves to be the victim of domestic violence, no matter what they may have done. The fault lies with the abuser.
Sue Jeffels is a researcher and writer.
She has explored this topic thoroughly in "A Theology of Survival: The faith narratives of women who have survived domestic violence" Unpublished PhD Thesis University of Derby UK. Read more on women's issues at
http://www.writingup.com/blog/suejeff
